isthisblood:

6od:

tomoatmeal:

A good fable would be about a spider who goes into this guy’s apartment and the guy gets really angry and decides to spray the spider to death with bug spray, but he accidentally uses hair spray and so the spider ends up looking really sharp and then gets a job someplace that the guy was trying all week to get a job at.

jesuismilena:

What of he started seeing me and then ran off with my best friend does facebook not understand?

I’ll poke him alright— with the machete right before I chop his balls off for being such a prick.

hahahahaha <3

luxembourg:

jacksbrokenheart:

(via planettampon)

insideshagshead:

Honestly….

youdneverfly:

dontwalkout:

kayleethelady:aairborne:sugarspun:tinyparcels:mentalillness:(via catprism)

not having to deal with any housemate/roommate/neighbor issues 
I can fuck in peace
I can smoke in peace
I can leave my dirty dishes in the sink for two days in peace
I can study in my undies in peace
and I can have a shitload of candy and not be afraid that someone is going to steal them away

so fuck you french classmate who has the most annoying laugh ever and is always talking about her hair and shit.

now your turn…
?

and you know that but why do I have to accept all of your flaws and you cannot accept mine? because your flaws are more acceptable, more tolerable than mine?… no, thats because you think you deserve better and you just lie there, screaming at the top of your lungs LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM.